I will start the latest diatribe with observations/comments about several bills being considered by our fearless Congress (note that the list was shamelessly plagiarized from capwiz.com)…

H.R. 659 For the relief of certain aliens who were aboard the Golden Venture. For those of you lucky enough to forget, the Golden Venture was a ship carrying Chinese who were trying to gain illegal entry to the US.  It ran aground near NYC and some of the victims/criminals are still in legal limbo.  What is not clear is why there is no relief for the numerous Haitians and Cubans who tried, but failed, to get here on rafts, inner tubes, etc.  I also wonder about the many space aliens who have crashed while hovering over Earth, no doubt filming earthly life as part of a reality sitcom shown back on their home planets.

H.R. 15 creates a nationalized system of free health care.  There is no explanation how the word “free” can be applied to an act that would bankrupt each and every one of us.

H.R. 414, the Camera Phone Predator Alert Act, requires cameras in cell phones to make an audible sound to alert others (such as in locker rooms) when a picture is taken.  Seems too many of the “victims” are being denied the opportunity to turn to their “best side”, pose, or otherwise enhance themselves before being snapped.

H.R. 390 addresses “college football playoff games”.  You have got to be putting me on!  Nobody would submit a bill that stupid.

H.R. 187 says let Cubans play American baseball.   Obviously I wrote the above comment before reading this one.

H.R. 227 states that human life begins at fertilization.   I actually like this one.  Imagine the potential savings in scientific research this makes possible.  No time and resources working out the mysteries of the universe!  Hell no – just submit the questions to congress and let them vote us an answer.  BTW, I am still waiting for the definitive answer RE the number of angels that can dance on the head of a pin.

H.R. 254 moves voting to the weekend.   I guess none of the morons realize how many states let one vote for at least a full month before the official voting day?  Hello — is there any sign of intelligent life in there?

H.R. 113 requires anything funded by an earmark to be audited.  This is good.  Without the audits, we are never sure whether the funds were wasted as intended or accidentally put to some good use.

H.R. 202, which creates a “Museum of Ideas.”   Perhaps it can share space with the “Museum of Stupid Bills”?

H.R. 116 ends political “robocalls” if you are on the “Do Not Call” Registry.  Ah Ha!  Just as I thought!! “Do not call” really means “do not call unless using an obnoxious machine to do the dialing”.

S. 30 wants there to be caller ID honesty.  Well great.  I want there to be congressional honesty but you see how far that has gotten.

H.R. 87 says “Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is,” and invites those who like to pay taxes to voluntarily pay extra taxes.  We need a bill for that?  Can’t they just send in a check?

H.R. 25. calls for a “Fair Tax” (a national sales tax) and abolishing the IRS.   Some people want to take the fun and profit out of every scam.   Might as well ask congresspeople and senators to give up their paid-for-by-tax-dollars illicit sex partners.

H.R. 70 would make it a hate crime to display a noose with the intent to intimidate.  As opposed to the nooses displayed during a real lynching?

H.R. 40 explores paying reparations to African-Americans.  A worthy bill.  Indeed, I think that every one, currently alive, who can prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that they have been slaves should collect a bucket load from everyone currently alive who can be proven, beyond a reasonable doubt, to have kept slaves.

H.R. 346 repeals the automatic payraises Congress receives.  How could they, what will all the hard work evidenced by the bills above??

Then, my friends, we have the granddaddy of them all – the Emergency Economic Stimulus Package.  There is so much that could be said about it — if I did not try to limit the use of vulgarity in this blog.

First, one might reasonably ask, why is this an emergency since the situation has existed for several months, with nothing done other than ensuring the captains of finance don’t get hurt by showering billions of cash down on them?  Well, this turns out to be the most easily answered of the questions.  It is an emergency for the simple reason that congress must enact it quickly before the economy shows improvement all on its own.

One thing that can be said about the package: it is a marvel of “new speak”.  For instance:

• It proposes to give an income tax “cut” to millions who don’t currently pay any income tax.  Can we no longer use the term “welfare” to describe the dole?

• It proposes to “strengthen” our system of free enterprise by partially nationalizing much of our financial system and parts of our manufacturing sector.

• It proposes to stimulate the economy while doing little or nothing to stimulate the real productivity engine that actually drives the economy.

• It proposes to rebuild our national infrastructure (roads, bridges, sewers, water systems, etc.) by limiting the use and employment of people who actually know how to rebuild roads, bridges, sewers, water systems, etc., instead by hiring a quota of the hard-core unemployed (that is to say, those who remain unemployed mostly because of an aversion to learning and to work).

• And, worst of all, it proposes to promote “fairness” by using the threat of deadly force (as in armed government agents) to take from the productive, that which they have legally and honestly earned, and give it to others, who in no way earned it, simply to buy their votes.

Remember my friends, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing”. Edmund Burke

Speaking out is a form of doing something.  Why is it that so many of you can cheer so loudly for your favorite sports teams but seem to be struck mute when your country needs some noise on its behalf?

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For those of you with so little to do that you actually read this blog: you may have noticed a bit of silence from the blogger.  This is because I have just had back surgery and, between the pain and the pain medicine, I am not up to my normal, mentally ill standards.  Stay tuned.

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